Bitter Sweet Freedom

I am free. The shackles that bound me have been removed. I am no longer a trainee teacher. This feels both good and bad, hence the title of “Bitter Sweet Freedom”. On one hand, I hated what I was doing and am glad to be rid of it. I finally have the time to exercise, to cook, to write. It’s a wonderful feeling. However at the same time it signals the end of a wasted year and the start of unemployment. That feels terrible. I’m not one to sit on my backside though, so I guess I have something new to focus on; getting a job in the lead up to my hopeful masters course. However, this does mean that I will be going full steam ahead with writing as well, now that I actually have time and don’t have to spend every waking moment thinking about teaching or planning lessons / resources / units of work. I won’t delve into the “why” I got kicked off the course, though I will say that every single formally assessed lesson of mine was at least a pass, yet they still failed me.

Would I recommend teacher training? In this country, I’m not sure. It’s entirely luck of the draw whether you get a good mentor as there is no vetting process; I am not the first person to have been failed because mentors have taken a disliking to them, nor will I be the last. If you get placed in a school where you don’t get along with your mentor and/or department, you are going to have one hell of an uphill struggle. If you are a trainee teacher and you find yourself in this situation, raise it with the university. I was just far too typically English and just got on with it, teeth gritted and determination flaring. On the topic of teaching in this country though, it’s a rather thankless profession. You work long hours, deal with a lot of stress and get paid pretty terribly. It was fairly normal for me to leave the house at 7am and get home at 8pm, due to meetings, lesson planning, resource creation etc. This is for a job that pays around 21k a year at the start, without growing too much. Sure, you get good holidays, but really it doesn’t make up for the insane workload during term time, as well as the incredibly political nature of teaching; if someone tells me teaching is a caring profession, I’m going to laugh. Teachers can be some of the most venomous individuals. However, I have heard wonderful things about teaching abroad, so if you’re considering teaching, my advice would be to work abroad. Better conditions, better pay and an actual respect for the profession go a long way.

Anyway, enough about teaching and my new found freedom from it. What have I been doing this week? Well, I’ve gotten back into The Division again. Sure, it’s a bit repetitive, but the Dark Zone isn’t. I… really enjoy the Dark Zone, which surprises me due to my aversion to PvP. However, one thing I have noted in the Dark Zone is that a lot of players are more willing to team up and make mutual gains rather than turn on each other, gain rogue status and risk losing their own stuff. Rolling through the Dark Zone in a group is a very rewarding experience and is generally safe, as most players won’t mess about with a group of four unless they’re also a group of four; though a group of four is easier to spot than the one guy with a marksman rifle taking pot shots at you. I’ve generally had a good experience in the Dark Zone, though I was sort of expecting full blown DayZ levels of asshattery so it would have been hard to truly surprise me in a bad way.

I’ve also played a decent amount of Monster Hunter 4 on the DS; I won’t lie, it was because one of my friends is incredibly into it. I also won’t lie when I say that I can see why. It is by far the most complex game that I have for my DS, with the large number of different weapons and play styles, as well as the insane amount of customisation options available. I’m enjoying the light bowgun for multiplayer and the dual swords for single player, as I like my mobility over the sheer power of weapons like the hammer. I’m still a massive scrub when it comes to Monster Hunter, but I’m getting better. I would totally recommend it for the DS, though it is not for the faint of heart. With the amount you have to remember and everything that you have to do on a successful hunt, it’s not going to be a casual game. For that, I think Fire Emblem retains the top spot in terms of my favourite DS title, as it’s much easier to pick up and play without really taxing myself. Yes, I’m a scrub with low mental capacity. Sometimes. I like to relax whilst gaming, okay?

For roleplaying, we had a massive rift in the party this week during Pathfinder. Everyone apart from my character is lawful good, and they were prying into my secretive character’s employment history and background, which she was unwilling to share. Also, having been away from my beloved bard class for too long, I will be switching in Pathfinder. My current character is going to leave the party to pursue her goals without them, as they are inept (in her eyes). I will be replacing her with an Aasimar bard, who is unaware of her celestial heritage. She has the leadership feat, and the natural born leader trait as she is supposed to be a leader of people, a bastard child of a noble house that is now in ruin (our setting has a large army of Orcs and Hobgoblins and undead wrecking faces). Her cohort (main follower) is her family’s former captain of the guard and has made me realise how stupidly good the fighter class is. He can tank, make ludicrous numbers of opportunity attacks, hit things with his longsword, shoot things with his composite longbow, sling daggers when disarmed or just hit things hard in the face with his bare hands… If it’s combat based, he can do it. He’s way better in combat than my actual character, despite being two levels lower and my bard actually having decent combat feats (going to build her like a duelist in combat).

However, my new unemployed status means that cuts have to happen. My Warhammer 40k projects are going out the window, as that’s very expensive and I need to be saving up for my masters. I might get the jetbikes that I need, but then leave it at that, as that’s a fairly central concept to my Eldar army. However, this does mean that I will still lack an “average” strength army, as my Eldar, whilst fluffy and lore-abiding, can be quite brutal when played right… And I’ve played Eldar now for about 6 years. If I get a job that pays well, I’ll either start a Chaos army, or a Militarum Tempestus one.

Also, writing high fantasy fiction when your mind is currently in a space / cyberpunk mood is…an interesting experience… A very interesting experience.

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